Comedic Interpretation T-Shirts

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

Whiskey wars

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

Tree growing

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

"The first week back is always the hardest"

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'