Comedic Misunderstandings T-Shirts

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Whiskey wars

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

"Is there anybody there?"

Safety Pin

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

Two women are hosting a radio show called Ask Sadie.

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

End of the Pier Show

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"This is not the sleeping beauty I paid good money to see!"

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."