Comedic Sense T-Shirts

'Meet my 'Soccer Mom' and 'Basketball Dad'.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Get crazy once in a while

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

X-RAY

I'm getting old, I spotted a couple of brown hairs among the punk.

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Well, given that you have three broken ribs, laughing is bound to be painful...'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

Monkey Business College

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"When I said the surgery was minimally invasive I wasn't talking about your finances."

Tree growing