Comedic History Buff Gifts

'Look at this baby, just in from Italy. You'll have to fight off the chicks, Man.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Choose, Fenster

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'It's Blurred.'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

Sleigh Ride

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

A guy is looking at his car that's about to go over some falls.

'Binocular, infra-red camera, directional microphone: Let's go and do some stalking...'

"Well, technically, he's supposed to draw the sword from the stone....but I'm not going to argue the point."

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."