Comedic History Buff Gifts

'Look at this baby, just in from Italy. You'll have to fight off the chicks, Man.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Choose, Fenster

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'It's Blurred.'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

Sleigh Ride

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

A guy is looking at his car that's about to go over some falls.

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

'Binocular, infra-red camera, directional microphone: Let's go and do some stalking...'

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."