Comedic Golf Player Gifts

'He's a stupid golfer who ignored repeated shouts of 'fore.' Go ahead and play it where it lies!'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

'You know your mother Dave, she's always on my back about something.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

The natural selection process in golf.

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'It's been so long since he's been on dry land.'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

The evolution of triathletes.

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"