Comedic Ear Cleaner Gifts

Cotton Buds.

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

The Rolling Bones

He Did It!

"It's nice to see you expressing yourselves, but what you need to focus on what's good for the whole group!"

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

The damage from wearing headphones.

"Will you accept my master's card?"

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

"The applications are limitless."

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

Coach. Your gymnastics routine was great until the dismount.

Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. I am not your Uncle Mort. You know the doctors have said "no caffeine," Uncle Mort. I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mr. Somewunneruther. "Mister Somewunneruther"? Yes. Of the Minnesota Somewunneruthers. We're a very old and respected family. We came over on the Sunflower. Mayflower!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.

Hammering Away

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

Disturbance of the Inner Ear

"I beat the king in golf, now he's having my clubs executed."

"I'm in debt up to my eyes. Only my hat is paid for!"

'Get a move on, you're late!'

Dating app for dogs

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

'When I snore, I'm put in solitary. And on nights when I don't, I'm released back into the general population.'

At the beep, please tell us what you're calling about. Beep. I'm calling because I have a beep fetish. What are you wearing?

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for Sir Edmund Hillary.'

Man makes a foam beard when shaving.

"I know t's tech-support, but, for two fifty a minute, I expect you to talk dirty."

"Good news - my boss won a lot at poker last night, so if you can wait, we're going to lower the price."