Comedic Driving Enthusiast Gifts

'Okay. Now, try to parallel park while talking on your cell phone and changing songs on your ipod.'

'Do you think you could teach me how to drive just as far as the airport?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Man helping a mini learner driver

I love my motor.

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

Warning, It's raining cats and dogs.

'Power steering.'

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Stone Age Driving Test

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

No U-turns

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

I don't brake for tail gators.

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

"You're very courteous for a hog"

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"You call that teaching."

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'