Comedic Driving Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Okay. Now, try to parallel park while talking on your cell phone and changing songs on your ipod.'

'Do you think you could teach me how to drive just as far as the airport?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Man helping a mini learner driver

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

I love my motor.

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

Warning, It's raining cats and dogs.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Stone Age Driving Test

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

No U-turns

'Power steering.'

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

"You call that teaching."

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

"The first adult decision he's had to make is choosing between driving and texting.

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'

'How was my emergency stop?'

'Which piece are you going to play?' - 'The Minute Waltz' - '1 minute 9 seconds. Fail.' - 'Damn you, Chopin!'