Comedic Car Critic T-Shirts

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'Power steering.'

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

No U-turns

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

The development of cars.

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

'Panic stations! Parking dilemma!'

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

'It must have good gas mileage because it hasn't even been started in two decades.'

"Damned Sat Nav!"