Comedic Car Critic T-Shirts

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'Like the 'Cobra' and the 'Viper', my car is named for a snake too - the 'Rattler'.'

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'Power steering.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

No U-turns

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

The development of cars.

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

"Something tells me he won't show up in traffic court."

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

'Panic stations! Parking dilemma!'

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

Hummer Hell

"Damned Sat Nav!"