Car Critics T-Shirts

"At last! We've finally reduced our dependency on foreign oil."

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"Unclean demon, in the name of the saint I command you to leave the spirit of this man and to take from him his unholy desire to drive an SUV!"

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

"I found a really good parking place, dear, so I'm going to spend the weekend downtown shopping. . ."

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

Sports futility vehicles

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

"I like everything about the car except it's expression."

Back seat race car drivers.

"Engineers have actually found a way to fuel this car with the dignity you lose as you're driving it."

The development of cars.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

Insensitive driving school - 'That was crap.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

'Of course, you're probably concerned with mileage and the high gas prices. . .'

Speed Bump

Mushroom cloud from a car's exhaust pipe.

Woman going to wash partners car with wire wool.

'This model was proudly built in the USA by Mexican workers on Chinese wages.'

'Car maker management made big bucks screwing up for years, and can you believe, Republicans are blaming the UNIONS!'

Hummer Hell

Learner Drivers

Econo Air-bag

'It must have good gas mileage because it hasn't even been started in two decades.'

'These gas prices are outrageous! Almost as expensive as bottled water!'

"I've lost the ability to make eye contact"

"Hey, relax! All I said was, 'You're a sexy car, but you could stand to dress a little sexier!"