Comedic Cruise Controller Gifts

'Get a move on, you're late!'

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

No Instruments Please

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

Lambo

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

'Next year we're going where our luggage goes!'

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

"I have to go wee-wee."

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

Big Mouthed Boat about to swallow fish swallowing fish and so on.

'SHOP!!!'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

The only way to get a rain free British holiday is to camp above the clouds.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

BOOZE & SNOOZE: 'It's a bed and breakfast with a liquor license.'

"I told you not to break so hard."

'Did you pack your own luggage?'

'Due to technical difficulties the scenic route is currently unavailable'