Comedic Cruise Controller T-Shirts

'Get a move on, you're late!'

Airport Security.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"It's okay dear. Dinner always tastes better when it's caught fresh, thrown back, taken from our cooler, removed from the package, and fried."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Father Christmas uses laptop on roof. Man says: 'I think someone is stealing our wi-fi.'

No Instruments Please

"How can we get away from it all if you're bringing it all with you?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"I know it's a pie in the sky, Henshaw, but from a career perspective point of view we'll log it in as 'unidentified small aircraft'."

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

Lambo

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

'We're lost - I told ye to take the low road.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Currency Exchange. Hebrides Travel Agency. They said that for one hundred dollars, Skye's the limit.

'Next year we're going where our luggage goes!'

"I wasn't texting while driving. I was driving while texting."

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"I have to go wee-wee."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'SHOP!!!'

Big Mouthed Boat about to swallow fish swallowing fish and so on.

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

The only way to get a rain free British holiday is to camp above the clouds.

'Hike the Alps? I'm getting out of breath just keeping my foot on the accelerator!'

BOOZE & SNOOZE: 'It's a bed and breakfast with a liquor license.'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

"I told you not to break so hard."

'Due to technical difficulties the scenic route is currently unavailable'