Comedic Crime Thinker T-Shirts

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

X-RAY

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'You're an inspector now?'

Pinata Crime Scene Investigation.

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

Tree growing

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'