Comedic Couple Moments Pillows

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"So that's where you were last night."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"The blow drier is broken."

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"Get another cab, Dad. This one is creepin' me out."

"I want to make it with you."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'