Comedic Couple Dynamic Lover Pillows

"The blow drier is broken."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"You lick, I'll dry."

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

'I didn't recognize your old boyfriend at first. He's got a new car.'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'Look, Mom. I'm belly dancing.'

We never go out anymore.

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

This pregnancy thing just isn't working out, Steve - I can't use my laptop!

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'