Comedic Counselor Pillows

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Diving Cat.

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Excommunicate Me.

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

You think you have feelings of worthlessness? You ought to see my portfolio!

'I thought you said inflatables were allowed on the beach.'

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

'Hi Honey! I wanted to thank you for taking the baby to day care this morning!'

REPORT CARD, 'This is going to be tough to spin.'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

'We offer counselling for customers with gearbox issues.'

"Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!"

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Usually we wouldn't let you in the sanctuary dressed in robe and sandals, but seeing as you are Jesus we will make an exception..."

'A good rule of thumb is never to eat anything that won't fit into your microwave.'

'Dude, you better get outta' my whey.'

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

'I'm afrraid you're in denial.' 'I know you are, but what am I?'