Comedic Contemplator T-Shirts

"Hmmm... I've NEVER like Blue Oyster Cult..."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Sisyphus during Covid

"Shall we put it in play?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'I just can't keep up with the conversations in deep space.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"Hunters turned philosophers"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise."

Apocalipsis

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

"I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets."

"Pay no attention. It's his way of telling us he needs a lot of space."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

'There's only one honest way to make money.'