Comedy Contemplator T-Shirts

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

Sisyphus during Covid

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

Caterpillar Paranoia

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

'Contemplate this summons.'

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

Blight at the end of the tunnel

"Well, no, I wouldn't expect it to speak to you."

Art Gallery View.

The nearness of you.

The Master Switch

Larry promised himself he wouldn't give into the pier pressure...not again.

"Hold on, my #!?! phone is about to die!"

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

"And the best-case scenario? How many more?"

Sad Humour

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

In case of emergency, break silence.

2020 Simulator

"According to my financial advisor, dying was a lucky break before my savings ran out."

"My parents wanted me to join the priesthood, but I didn't think I'd have the stomach for that much controversy."

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

Rodin's Thinker.

"Hmmm... I've NEVER like Blue Oyster Cult..."

"There you go again, trying to solve my problems. I'm not asking you to do that. I just need you to listen."