Comical Meditator T-Shirts

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

I just wish he'd warn us when he's going to have an out-of-body-odor experience.

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

'Oh my gosh, this is terrific! I just tuned in satellite radio.'

"Sorry I'm late - I got caught in another avalanche."

'It's the darnedest thing -- last night I dreamed I was eating shredded wheat.'

'How did WE get on Mike Huckabee's mailing list?'

'Hey, I know what -- Let's have an enlightenment telethon!'