Comical Meditator Pillows

'... Yes, most people are surprised when I show them the real meaning of life.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

Man tries to build a traditional Indian Guru bed using flatpack furniture.

'I'm trying to become enlightened, but my stomach keeps growling and interrupting me!'

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Nobody's looking -- how about a third-eye opener?'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

It was clear that, once again, Lyle was not being nominated for sainthood.

'Oh yeah! First to reach enlightenment... Right here! Eat my dust, bitches!'

'Oh my gosh, this is terrific! I just tuned in satellite radio.'

'How did WE get on Mike Huckabee's mailing list?'

"Sorry I'm late - I got caught in another avalanche."

'Hey, I know what -- Let's have an enlightenment telethon!'

'Have you emptied your mind completely, my son?', 'Does thinking about Paris Hilton count?'

'It's the darnedest thing -- last night I dreamed I was eating shredded wheat.'