Comedic Cinema-goer Gifts

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

You are very important to me!

Now playing. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs II. If I'm too scared, can we cuddle. It's why I make him see these horrible movies.

Kissing at the Movies

For a few dollars more, we can get a suite. Spaghetti Westin.

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

"Any luck"

"He're the pitch; a sequel to 'Yesterday', but instead of The Beatles, it's The Carpenters. We'll call it 'Yesterday, Once More'."

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

"No love, your Daddy isn't Spider-Man. Your Daddy is a Father For Justice."

"No! Not señor discount. SENIOR discount!!"

"Sit down Fred!"

"Gawd! All that sex and violence - and that was just on the front row!"

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

'Dancer! What the hell are you doing...?'

Mantis chick flicks

Now playing: Sideways.

...They come out cheering for the iceberg.

"One for 'Romance in Paradise' and one for two hours in hell."

Santa Claus relaxing in a recliner chair watching ‘SLEETLESS IN SEATLE' DVD.

Two Triceratops see a Stegasaurus coming out of a Jurassic fashion store - 'OMG, tail spikes and plates... that is so last epoch!'

"If there's anything meaningful or worthwhile in this movie, the whole evening will have been for nothing."

"With this film, I finally enter the front ranks of American moviegoers."

Cell phone in theaters.

"Goodness, no! I'm returning it."