Comedic Cinema-goer Gifts

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'It was great. I hated it.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

You are very important to me!

Kissing at the Movies

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

"Any luck"

"He're the pitch; a sequel to 'Yesterday', but instead of The Beatles, it's The Carpenters. We'll call it 'Yesterday, Once More'."

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

"No! Not señor discount. SENIOR discount!!"

"Sit down Fred!"

"Gawd! All that sex and violence - and that was just on the front row!"

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

The village cinema-club was going down a treat with the locals!

'Dancer! What the hell are you doing...?'

Mantis chick flicks

...They come out cheering for the iceberg.

"One for 'Romance in Paradise' and one for two hours in hell."

Santa Claus relaxing in a recliner chair watching ‘SLEETLESS IN SEATLE' DVD.

Two Triceratops see a Stegasaurus coming out of a Jurassic fashion store - 'OMG, tail spikes and plates... that is so last epoch!'

"With this film, I finally enter the front ranks of American moviegoers."

Cell phone in theaters.