Comedian Of The Skies T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, we don't have chicken or fish. However, we do have a choice of surcharges. Would you prefer fuel, technology upgrade or new labor deal?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"It's my helper trout!"

"I don't like space."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Anything good on tonight?'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

'We don't charge you any extra, but we will hate you,'

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"