Night Sky Humorist T-Shirts

"I don't like space."

"Isn't it romantic? All those pieces of space-junk, assorted human garbage and spy satellites, twinkling in the night sky."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Cow Blue Arrows

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Moon's Portaloo.

"Five bucks he opens it."

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

Man's dentures hold cigar.

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

Stand up comedians from outer space.

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

Overnight Programming

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

'I come from. . . URANUS!'

Frisbee Flies By Mountain Climbers

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'

Unaware of the importance of dryer sheets, the crew of the starship enterprise embarrassingly warp through space with static Klingons.

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'