Space Race Humorist T-Shirts

'Do you have one in a larger size?'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

Man, my cat sneaks into the weirdest spots.

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Are there space-babes?"

Moon's Portaloo.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"This is where you'll be sleeping."

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

How's my abducting?

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

Stand up comedians from outer space.