Comedian Of The Clouds T-Shirts

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Fish Farm.

'Anything good on tonight?'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

"Five bucks he opens it."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

Directions for Hell and Paradise.

'He was born to the sea.'

"Andy...Andy...I'm not finding...let me check my spam folder..."

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'