Comedian Of The Clouds T-Shirts

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Fish Farm.

'Anything good on tonight?'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

"Five bucks he opens it."

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'He was born to the sea.'

"Andy...Andy...I'm not finding...let me check my spam folder..."

Directions for Hell and Paradise.

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"I'm expecting easy confirmation."

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"