Comedian Of The Skies Gifts

'I'm sorry, we don't have chicken or fish. However, we do have a choice of surcharges. Would you prefer fuel, technology upgrade or new labor deal?'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

"It's my helper trout!"

"I don't like space."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Anything good on tonight?'

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Bob was headed on a long trip but had forgotten his suitcase. Luckily, the airport folks were one step ahead.

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"