Comeback Comedians Pillows

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

Occu-Pie Mars

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

"And I suppose my greatest feature is that I don't mind kissing a little booty to get ahead!"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

'Tell me about yourself. If I stay awake, you've got the job.'

Man on desert island under expired parking meter, meter maid in boat approaches.

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."