Commuting Comedians Pillows

"Been here long?"

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

"Take me home now!"

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

"When I agreed to working closely with you on this project..."

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

Trapeze artists commuting

"I know there are people who look like their pets, but..."

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

Honey I'm Home

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

Metrocard error messages

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

Theme Park 'n' Ride

Need a Lawyer?

'Elevator's fixed.'

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

"A sense of humour is useful if you work here, especially when it comes to your salary."

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

"He's brilliant exactly like me, and a lower paid version."