Columnists Gifts

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'Maybe fruit flies don't have souls.'

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'You've been killing files again.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

A great new year (for cartoonists).

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

And now, for a rebuttal.

The Original Gossip Columns

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

'Instead of nagging you, Walter, I've decided to write a syndicated column!'

The United States of Amazement

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"