Color-confused Couple Pillows

'I'm going to throw out my old toothbrush and get a new one.'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"I love you, you big fool."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Inappropriate Snowmen

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Advanced footsie

A Prickly Pair

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I married him because he made my feet tingle when we played footsie. Turns out it was neuopothy.'

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Prison Romance.

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'We were made for each other.'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

"Don't tell him anything."

'Who has the rings and prenup?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"Ahh, bless him. He's run out of bird feed for our little Blue Tits."

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'