Collision Comedian Gifts

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

When protons collide...

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

"And hold the mayo."

'It doesn't work...'

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"I wasn't honking at you! Isn't it obvious I was honking at the guy 10 cars ahead of you?"

"Well done!"

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'Oh, no -- not again!'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'Very funny!'

"Actually, I am underwater."

'Don't get involved.'

The life of a crash-test dummy

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'Look dad! - Mercedes bends!'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'