Collision Comedian Gifts

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

Cotton candy

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'It doesn't work...'

"And hold the mayo."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

"Actually, I am underwater."

'Very funny!'

'Don't get involved.'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'