Comedic Collision Enthusiast Gifts

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"Sorry, I'm not criticizing your driving so much as I'm marvelling that you're still alive."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

When protons collide...

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"Please—no technology questions!"

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

Blower wars.

'Would you like me to check your coat?'

Eskimo in Igloo

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

'...and finally I'd just like to thank my plastic surgeon for giving me these puppies.'