College Party Goer Gifts

United States Electoral College

Sloaney Pony.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Mardi Gras

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

I could have danced all night!

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Party Animals.

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Green Balloon

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Dancing in pyjamas

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Shaken not stirred

Balancing two espresso martinis

'I'm too hot to trot.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

The devil you know and his plus one

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?