College Partier Gifts

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Bro of Frankenstein

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'Wag the tails!'

"I love college."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

The morning after the night before.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

'I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy and double-ribbed condoms.'

"What A Party."

'I'd invite you in, but I'm way too young to settle for less.'

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."