College Dorm Gifts

"I can't sleep without my weighted blanket... I'm safe under my weighted blanket..."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Oh, this old thing?"

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

Student Food Pyramid

Bro of Frankenstein

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

The morning after the night before.

Frat House Feng Shui

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

"Spare me the early bird lecture."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."