Dorm Residents Gifts

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Student Food Pyramid

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Frat House Feng Shui

Biting Slippers.

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

"I can't sleep without my weighted blanket... I'm safe under my weighted blanket..."

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

Curry for Breakfast.

Brother Kevin is wrecking the dorm!

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'Well. . . my first year of college is going okay, but I really wish I could get some new roommates.'

Stainless steel dorms!

Fridge Pirate

'I know my grades weren't that good, but on the plus side, I'm the only person in my dorm who hasn't maxed out a credit card.'

"If this dorm is co-ed, why are there 27 guys and just me!?"