College Contender Pillows

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Contest to enter the University

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

Lost Season

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

"Cheer up, Nicole! What does Princeton know? Say, you got any plans for that last bit of cobbler?"

Lawyers Playing Tennis

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

"That's Ruffles, our I.Q.-sniffing dog."

'Marriage teaches you loyalty and tolerance...'-'Things you don't need if you are single.'

'That's required reading' - University Tuition.

'I think you'll find that's checkmate for you too, Sir.'

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

'I can't see you either...'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'