College Commentators Gifts

College is expensive but will add thousands of dollars to my lifetime loan, which I can use to pay off my college loans.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Sir Patrick Moore.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

True Debate Fun

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

Monkey Business College

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'