College Alumni Supporter Gifts

"You call this a resume? The school you graduated from lost every football and basketball game this year."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Coach Prime Cleans House

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"I teach ... to impact a life."

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

'And remember you success will be measured by how much money you donate to the universities alumni fund.'

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

"Personally, I prefer seeing the graduates dance across the stage."

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.

"Dad, I took the money out of my college fund, but I decided not to go to college."

Apt. for rent: Excellent school district - Student included.

"Put four. Teachers need encouragement."

"I can speak with Billy now, Susan. While I'm thinking about it... order me another file cabinet."

'I think my teacher is very devoted. She always says she's more interested in the outcome than her income.'

'Remember, your success in life will be measure by how much you donate to your Alma Mater...'

'I thought they told you that any donation, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.'

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

'I had just assumed the college alumni solicitation letters would stop up here.'

"We're lucky the Peace Corps sent us a Princeton man."

My University's Fundraising Department

'Hi, I'm from your alumni assocation, and I'm wondering if you'd care to share your loot...'

"well, you did spell your name correctly!"