College Alumni Gifts

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'Unfortunately our definition of 'job' differs.'

Graduate

"Thank you for your service."

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

"Dad, I hold a professorship, in poetry at Harvard. I'm widely published. I'm well off. I'll retire in three years. The odds of me going into medicine at this point are slim to none."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- Career Duck

'Take my word for it. The answer is two. I'm a college graduate.'

'I see you hold degrees in eating, sleeping, AND mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the other college graduates who have applied.'

"Most men brag about their fancy cars, but...you paid off all your student loans...wow!"

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

No, it does still fit! This is exactly how it fit in college.

'Look at Tim behind the counter. He didn't go to college and he's got a fast food job.'

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"If you didn't want to feel inferior to your classmates, you shouldn't have gone to such a good school."

'Here's where you'll work! I know it's confusing, however we will have paid training for you.'

John Wooden.

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'

I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.

'I thought they told you that any donation, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.'

College graduate selling vacuums to pay back his loan (Colour)

Grabbed By Gorilla

Graduation.

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

Big Student Loan Debt And Nobody Will Hire Me Because I'm Overqualified.

I'm Googling a couple of old uni mates.

Hope for Jobless College Grads

'Spreadbury! Never forget a face - 1957! Gave you a beating... good old school days, eh? Spreaders?'

Banked on a college degree without an NBA career to fall back on.