University Alumni Gifts

"Ogden, could you pull a string and get me one of those pictures of you naked at Yale?"

'I thought they told you that any donation, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

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'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"Thank you for your service."

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

"Dad, I hold a professorship, in poetry at Harvard. I'm widely published. I'm well off. I'll retire in three years. The odds of me going into medicine at this point are slim to none."

"It does seem like a school-approved activity."

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

"It was a surprise. The college alumni solicitation letters never stop, even here!"

"He finally paid off his student loans."

Graduation.

John Wooden.

"I'm afraid a qualification form the Univesity of Hard Knocks doesn't get you far in the biotechnology industry these days."

'Nice resume but graduating 'summa cum student loan' isn't really something to brag about.'

'Remember, your success in life will be measure by how much you donate to your Alma Mater...'

'You should be ashamed of yourself.'

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

'Spreadbury! Never forget a face - 1957! Gave you a beating... good old school days, eh? Spreaders?'

I'm Googling a couple of old uni mates.

"You call this a resume? The school you graduated from lost every football and basketball game this year."

Big Student Loan Debt And Nobody Will Hire Me Because I'm Overqualified.

"I was in college asking questions like 'What is the meaning of life'? I came out of college asking questions like 'Would you like fries with that'?"

"With its fabled architecture and lush landscaping, this is the kind of campus that you'll remember fondly as you move on to your office park cubicles."

'I think educated guesses are useless; they're nothing but I-don't-knows with a degree.'

"You'll like this place: they play old skool house."

"We're lucky the Peace Corps sent us a Princeton man."

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