College Gifts

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'We've decided to support you for the rest of your life. It's cheaper than sending you to college.'

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave"

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

'Look at yourself! Ever since college, you've been different. You've changed!' Mark was right. His mother HAD changed.

'Ok then, what's the second most important thing on campus.'

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

Trust

I hope my parents can pay off their college loans before I go to college.'

'I'm sorry, but we simply can't allow you to graduate. Your coursework is complete, and your grades are exemplary, but you apparently failed to attend the group icebreakers during freshman orientation week... which as you know, were mandatory.'

I tried to take eighteen credits.

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

Someone is Out There Watching.

Biff majored in business, but minored in mooning...

Why College Costs So Much 101.

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

The undecided department

"Now that my college of choice no longer requires the SAT, I'm relying more than ever on grade inflation."

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

'...and to prepare you for life after graduation, 'Walking Without A Backpack 101'.'

'This instructional manual will make that college and financial loan application easy peasy.'

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Your room is exactly how you left it before you went to college, except of course, for our boarder, Mr. Grunze."

'We've found that having our kids leave for college from an actual nest helps them to grasp this momentous passage in their lives.'

Roads for Graduates

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

'I owe all my drive, ambition, and dedication to student debt.'

Continuing education.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'