College Bound Gifts

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

'We've found that having our kids leave for college from an actual nest helps them to grasp this momentous passage in their lives.'

"I'm glad this is the last of it. Mom and Dad kept smiling, but I know it's breaking their hearts that I'm going to be living at college!"

"One year closer to college!"

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'You have failed on all counts...'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

Bro of Frankenstein

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...