College Bound Gifts

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

"I'm glad this is the last of it. Mom and Dad kept smiling, but I know it's breaking their hearts that I'm going to be living at college!"

"One year closer to college!"

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'You have failed on all counts...'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

Bro of Frankenstein

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.