College-bound Scholar Gifts

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"One year closer to college!"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"My homework ate my dog."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

Student Debt

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Student Food Pyramid

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.