College-bound Teen Gifts

'Good news, Mom! I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

Since college admissions officers might see his Facebook page...

Slage University Admissions.

'Thanks, Dad. But I learned to ride that fifteen years ago while you were watching golf. I'm leaving now for college.'

"One year closer to college!"

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"My homework ate my dog."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

Trust

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Student Food Pyramid

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

Student Debt

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Joins The Football Team

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

The end of innocence

Frat House Feng Shui