College Visiting Gifts

They're slashing our health care and pension to cut the budget at work. Plus, I have to take an unpaid furlough week. Let's go see colleges! Ok! That will take my mind off my depressing finances. University. And!

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Continuing education.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"One year closer to college!"

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Jumping cheerleaders

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Trust

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'