University Visit Gifts

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'But I digress...'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'Next!'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

Trust

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

Too big to fail

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Good Luck with your finals.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

"I love college."

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'