Collection Protector T-Shirts

Stamp collector stamp collectors.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

'Do you come here often?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"You have ice water in your veins."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Girl holding money.

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'How old is this vase?'

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'