Protective Gear Collector T-Shirts

"I need something sturdy enough to withstand the scrutiny of other parents."

Seems like overkill, Bob.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Sport Utility Boot.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Geekasaurus.

Nor'easter Island.

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'So I thought, why waste money on a new scope when I've got this baby just sitting in my attic gathering dust.'

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

"Have a nice day"

"Where'd you get the business mitts?"

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

I took up antkeeping.

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Anthrax scare.

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

"Shoo!"

"Where did you get that?"

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

Milk production

"And now, we have added a special adaptation for the Luftwaffe head gear."

"Impressive brawl skills."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Forever Football Fan

'Is the new chip really that fast, or do you just like wearing all the safety gear?'

'Meet the boss and you'll see why even the clerical staff sometimes needs a hard hat!'

New grapefruit safety standard.