Protective Gear Collector Pillows

"I need something sturdy enough to withstand the scrutiny of other parents."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Sport Utility Boot.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'I hope you don't mind, dear — I got my ears pierced.'

Geekasaurus.

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

'So I thought, why waste money on a new scope when I've got this baby just sitting in my attic gathering dust.'

"Have a nice day"

'The packet says 'do not climb without safety harness'.'

"Where'd you get the business mitts?"

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Oh really, Gerald! You're removing honey from the hives, not plutonium!"

Anthrax scare.

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

Milk production

"And now, we have added a special adaptation for the Luftwaffe head gear."

"Shoo!"

"Where did you get that?"

'It's to protect me from the splattering. Now open wide.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"Impressive brawl skills."

Forever Football Fan

'Is the new chip really that fast, or do you just like wearing all the safety gear?'

'Meet the boss and you'll see why even the clerical staff sometimes needs a hard hat!'

New grapefruit safety standard.

Camelflage.

Workers in Hazmat suits make sweets